Having a Rough Time
by green-piggy
Summary: Lao and Irina attempt to befriend a dog.


**Warnings for whole game spoilers, suicidal thoughts, mentions of depression and PTSD. This was meant to be fun I swear.**

* * *

Lao's comm device buzzed again, most likely with another message from someone 'worried' about where he'd gone off to now. Yeah, right. Worried that he wasn't being helpful, maybe.

He was tempted to just roll over and continue brooding in his bed, but his eye caught the name of the sender:

Irina Akulov.

...Well. Not who he had been expecting.

With a groan, he smacked his hand against his desk – rattling the photo frame on it, which he was quick to straighten out – and grabbed his device. He squinted at the screen and unlocked it.

 _"I need to meet you TONIGHT. No ifs, not buts. Midnight at Deliverance Park, or I'll be telling the Colonel about your latest 'disappearance'."_

For crying out- it wasn't like he left them halfway through the mission! He always made sure that they had enough provisions and supplies to head back to New LA in one piece.

And fast travel. Fast travel was a thing that existed. Why no one save Elma's team used it, Lao did not know.

Still. He had a couple of hours, give or take.

...Ah, dammit, might as well get up now.

He threw on some casual clothes – a long-sleeved jumper and jeans – and grabbed a sandwich to eat before heading out. It was frightening how much Shingo's face had _lit_ up when he'd spotted Lao in the kitchen.

"Boss, you're eating something!" he said, and had the decency to look embarrassed when Lao threw him a look. He was a kid, though, an awkward one at that, so he couldn't get mad.

"I eat every day," Lao pointed out. "We all eat." He bit into the flavourless meal and waited.

"Yeah, but I never actually _see_ you eat, y'know?" Shingo scratched his neck, a sheepish smile stretching out his dimples. "I know Mondo eats enough to put a milesaur to shame, but-"

"Shingo."

"Y-yeah?"

"Get some sleep, all right? We're heading out to Noctilum in two days. Rest up."

"Yes, sir!"

"For the last – ah, forget it."

It was quarter to twelve when he arrived at Deliverance Park. It was abandoned, save for a kitten that gave him a half-hearted purr when he flopped down next to it.

It was cute.

Like, really cute.

He glanced down at it.

It meowed.

"Lao? You're early," came Irina's sharp voice. Lao jolted his hand away from the kitten's scarred ear and crossed his arms.

"Hey, Irina. What's the emergency?"

"It's not urgent," she said, tugging at the top of her winter gloves - that made Lao sit up fully. Irina wasn't one to be nervous.

"But, your text..."

"I think it's urgent, but others would laugh at me." Irina scowled. She ducked her chin deep into her scarf. "Especially Gwin. I think he'd collapse of laughter on the spot."

Lao couldn't help his smile at the thought. "That guy finds everything amusing."

"As long as he's happy," Irina muttered, and that was a lot more solemn that it should have been. Lao opened his mouth, found it void of words, and quickly slammed it shut.

The only sound was of the wind rustling leaves within the trees, and the occasional yells of drunks stumbling about. It smelt vaguely of spring, sharp hay and flowers piercing the air. The streetlights were gleaming orbs veiled in the late-night fog.

Beside him, the kitten let out a content purr and stretched a paw onto his leg. He froze at the contact, but when all it did was screw its eyes shut and purr quietly, he gave the paw a small stroke.

"Cross told me you used to have a dog."

Lao glanced up to Irina at that. "They... they _what_?"

Irina shifted. "A dog," she bit out, "they said you used to have one."

"When I was about _eight_ , yeah." He leant back so that he was resting on the cool beech beach. "What has _that_ got to do with anything?"

"My request."

Lao raised both of his eyebrows.

"I-" Irina cursed to herself in a hiss. "-Shit, I'm just gonna say it."

"Say what?"

"A dog. I want to stroke a dog."

"You-" It was so ridiculous, Lao couldn't help his bark of laughter. "-You want to stroke a dog?" he said.

Irina nodded, thin-lipped, as though she was delivering a notice of death.

"You called me out at midnight to help you pet a dog?"

"It's not like you'd be doing anything better."

Lao winced. Irina did, too, and she was apologising not a second later.

"I - I didn't mean that. _Lao_ -"

"No, it's all right." He tried to give an easy smile. She wasn't wrong, after all. "So." He leaned forward on his elbows. "The dog."

"The dog." Irina nodded. "I tried to get close to one the other day, but - it fell into a hedge trying to run away from me."

He laughed at that, grinning at Irina's flustered face. "I can't imagine why it'd want to run away."

" _Lao_ -"

"C'mon, let's go find you a dog."

* * *

Lao knew of a stray dog that had been hanging out in an alleyway near the food processing plant (he definitely had not been feeding her _at all_ ). They headed there, stopping at the entrance. When Lao extended his hand and made a low pleasant noise (he couldn't whistle), a tiny dog with more hair than brains came trampling out with excited pants. Her tongue was lolling out of her face, her face the very image of happiness.

Lao reached into his pocket for treats-

The dog froze, and Lao could _feel_ her gaze boring into Irina's face.

Without any warning, the dog yelped and fled back into the alley.

"Hey wait!" Lao chased after the dog and heard Irina pounding the gravel beside him. They turned the corner, but the dog was out of sight – only darkness greeted them.

He turned around. Irina honestly looked as though she was ready to murder someone. At least it wasn't the Murderess, for once.

"I can't BELIEVE this!" she yelled, smacking her fist into the top of a trashcan. It _pinged_ and rattled. When she removed her fist, an impressive dent remained. "All I want is to CUDDLE a DOG!" Irina crossed her arms. "Why is that so difficult!? I want to stroke the fluffy dog!"

"You're, uh, being too aggressive," Lao said slowly, honestly unsure of how to deal with this new Irina. The feisty, hot-blooded soldier ready to throw her life away at a minute's notice? He was familiar with that. The man-hater that loved clothes shopping? A bit less common, but he was still familiar.

Irina Akulov, the feverish dog-lover?

...No, that just did not make sense.

"How am I being AGGRESSIVE!?" Irina yelled with a thrust of her arm. A bird screeched and flew away from her. "All I want is to HUG! A! DOG! I want to take the bastard's ears and CODDLE them to death!"

Lao had never seen anyone so terrifying with their intentions of love. He frowned, raised an eyebrow, then two, then resumed frowning. How the hell was he meant to react? "...Well, that's the only dog I know of," he said, crossing his arms. "Irina, I think-"

"I'm not giving up!" she shouted. She clenched her fists tight. "I'll stroke a dog if it's the last thing I do!"

Suddenly, she thrust a finger into his chest. He shoved her back on instinct, mouth already opening in an apology-

"This time next week!" Irina snarled, seemingly ignoring the fact that he had nearly knocked her onto the ground. "This place! I'm not stopping until I touch a dog, and you're helping me out!"

"Wait, what? Why am I the one helping you?"

"You really want me to list the reasons?" Irina snarled.

"Well-"

"Cross is always busy. I'm not asking the Colonel for something as embarrassing as this. Lin'd never stop teasing me. Gwin'd die of laughter, Marcus is exactly the same, and Doug is – Doug. He's got enough stress with doing Lin's test flights. And don't even _start_ on L."

He had to agree with her on that. "All right. So what makes me the hot-shot guy, then?"

Irina shrugged. "I don't know. You just seemed like the person who'd be most likely to help – and I wasn't wrong, was I?"

She wasn't.

"Anyway, if you're not here next week, I'll track you down." Irina gave him a rare smile – scarce for one directed at the male gender. "So don't be late, Lao."

"I won't."

* * *

And he wasn't.

It was sort of morbid, pinning up 'help dogs get over their Irinaophobia' as one of his reasons for living, but – there it was, the latest addition to the tiny list.

Irina was there by the time he had arrived, at five minutes to twelve. She was decked out in a fashionable lilac hoodie, while Lao had opted for a zipped up jacket with jeans. It was a gift from Cross, who had insisted that he take it, or else they would strangle him with the sleeves.

Cross was... pretty damn scary, sometimes.

He and Irina gathered around her comm device, not wasting any time on idle chatter. "I've had reports of a stray near the cathedral," Irina said, zooming in on the grid next to it. "We can head there and check it out."

"All right."

It was a quiet walk, even by NLA standards. When they arrived, sure enough, Lao could catch a bristled tail waggling from within a bush.

Irina's grin was nothing short of chilling.

They circled around to the front. No dog in sight, but it made funny little rustling noises. Irina crouched down in front of where the dog was, and extended a hand.

A tiny nose popped out. From his position against the cathedral wall, Lao raised his eyebrows. No _way_ was this going to actually work-

Two beady eyes followed the nose, and a long tongue was hanging from the dog's mouth. It was a sausage dog from the looks of it.

Irina stretched her hand out, slowly-

The dog barked at her before tripping back into the hedge.

Lao stared.

With a growl to rival the fiercest of simius, Irina shot an arm towards the dog. The other followed, and she was soon buried in the bush. No one was around, thankfully, or else they would have witnessed the cool-headed First Lieutenant Irina Akulov losing her shit over a tiny dog.

"You're not doing a whole lot of HELPING, Lao!" Irina snarled, rocking back onto her heels. Her hair had an impressive number of leaves tangled within. "Get over here!"

He kicked himself off the wall and ambled over.

No dog in sight. "Look, Irina, I'm not gonna lie. I don't think dogs like you."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." She sighed and crossed her arms. "I don't get why. All I want is to love 'em. Their huge eyes-"

That dog had the smallest eyes of any dog Lao had ever seen.

"-And _fluffy_ fur-"

Sausage dogs didn't have fur.

"-And just-" She stomped her foot. "A dog! I love dogs!"

"Well, dogs don't love you."

"I just don't know why! Is it my natural body smell? Are dogs freaked out by it?"

"Uh-"

"But cats hate me as well, so it can't be that!"

Dear God, Irina was a living, breathing animal magnet that repulsed animals instead of attracting them.

"C'mon, you're the previous dog owner." Irina turned to him, steel in her eyes. "You tell me what to do."

"Irina, I was a kid at the time." They _had_ been planning on getting a dog, for Chenshi's seventh birthday, but-

"Lao?"

"I don't know," he said quickly, aware of how rough his voice came out. "Sorry." He rubbed his neck. "I just – Irina, I really think this is one mission you need to give up on."

"I can't. What if I'm called on to rescue someone's pet? You know how far some of them get!"

Yeah, he sure did; someone's cat had managed to get lost in _Oblivia_ one time. How they hadn't noticed it missing until it was there in the first place, Lao did not know. "Everyone loves animals - I'm sure there's no shortage of animal lovers who'd happily take these missions. Also pet rescues fall to the _Mediators_ , not the Interceptors."

"Yeah, but – what if the _Commander's_ cat goes missing?"

Vandham had a – no he was _not_ going there. "He'll call on Elma's team, probably."

She gave him a funny look at that, at his sharp tone. It was her calculating look of 'if you insulted the Colonel I may or may not have to hide your body in a ditch in Cauldros', but she sighed. "Yeah, he would." She puffed out her chest, hands on hips. "That doesn't matter! What if _I'm_ the one called for it!?"

"Doesn't Gwin love animals?"

"Not really. He's good with them, but he hates most of 'em. Says they're too smelly."

"He's got a point."

"He's never smelt himself!" Irina crossed her arms. "Animals are adorable. They don't need to worry about stress, or the future, or anything like that. All they do is poop and piss and sleep."

That... was an apt description. "So, what? You want to be a dog, is that it?"

"It'd make things a hell of a lot easier," she grumbled, looking down.

Well.

Uh.

...How did someone reply to that?

Irina cleared her throat; he opened his eyes, not remembering when he had shut them, to another one of Irina's elusive smiles. "Same place next week?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, "sure."

* * *

Lao was feeling surprisingly refreshed for the week after, although, for him, surprisingly refreshed translated to "I don't want to get smacked by a Skell but I still want to 'accidentally' fall off a cliff and not survive it but because I'm a robot I will".

Still. He'd had worse days.

Mondo didn't stop nagging him for one thing or another, though, so he was a few minutes late to Irina's meeting. When he arrived, apology on lips, he stopped himself at the sight of Irina sprawled over the bench. She was taking up the entire thing, and there was a branch poking her cheek, and she didn't seem to care.

"Irina?"

"Ugh." When his shadow fell over her face, she cracked one eye open. "Hi, Lao."

"Are you... y'know?"

"Not really." She let out a frustrated huff. "You ever have a day where you just feel like complete crap for no reason?"

All of the time. "Huh? Whaddaya mean?"

"You know what I mean." She sighed, then with an audible groan, pulled herself up into a sitting position. "Right. Let's go and find a dog."

He offered a hand up, and was surprised when Irina took it. Her hand was like a clamp – a warm, gloved clamp. She stood up and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her workpants. "Marcus was saying that a dog kept harassing him over at the industrial district yesterday, near the test centre. I'm sure it's still there."

"All right. Let's head over."

Irina was usually chatty, especially around people she was comfortable with – and, for some inane reason, now seemed to consider Lao as someone to relax around.

It made the squeezing in his heart worsen, the knowledge that soon – _so_ soon – he'd have to-

Not today, dammit. Not on a good day.

She was quiet now, though, and it was evident that something was on her mind. Lao knew that if someone was thinking, they didn't want to be disturbed, or prodded. If it came out at all, it would come out on their own terms. God knew he had enough of that from his own team. He wanted to keep them out of this, out of this huge mess he had landed himself into, but knowing _his_ miserable luck? They'd be kidnapped, or killed, or-

A loud sigh from Irina drew his attention.

"Sorry," she murmured at his unspoken question. "I just... _ugh!_ " With a sudden blaze of anger, she kicked the sidewalk. She bit her lip with a low hiss. "Dammit!"

"Mission not go well?"

"Not really. It didn't – we had to kill some baby offspring belonging to a tyrant." She bit her lip. "I know it's a danger, but... they were babies. They barely put up a fight."

"Yeah?"

"The mother sure did, though. We had to team up with the Harriers – me and Doug ended up on the same team."

"You were?"

"Yeah." Irina gave a soft smile. "He's really... something." She chuckled. "Wouldn't stop complaining about Lin's test flights, though. He's always the first to offer, though, so everyone knows he doesn't really mind. Hell, he's probably one of her biggest supporters."

"Hmm."

She gave him a sideways glance as they entered the industrial district. From her position atop a series of containers, Alexa hollered and waved at the pair of them. Not a second later, a Skell arm smacked her and sent her toppling over the edge.

If it was anyone else but Alexa, he would have been concerned. Alexa was made of steel, though – heck, she'd probably _enjoy_ getting hit by Skells.

…His mind was not processing that any further.

They rounded the corner of the food processing plant-

Irina jolted. "There!"

It was a flash of fur that disappeared behind a series of boxes, but Irina was faster. She hurried after it while Lao walked. By the time he had arrived, Irina was on her knees, wriggling a finger in front of the dog's nose. She'd found a Rottweiler this time, its soft eyes and quiet sighs betraying its intimidating appearance.

Was it...

It wasn't running away.

Huh.

"Who's a good girl?" Irina cooed. She frowned. "Or boy. I guess." Her frown deepened. "Eh. Who's a good dog?" she eventually settled for, her finger waving towards the dog's nose.

Number one rule of interacting with a dog?

Don't bop its nose.

"Irina, get your-"

Her finger squashed against its nose.

With a whine, the dog attempted to step backwards, but it looked more like it was drunk and struggling not to fall onto his own behind. Once it managed to wiggle out from between the boxes, it gave Irina a thoughtful look before disappearing into the night.

Irina howled and smacked her fist against the container, then hissed, cradling her fingers.

"Irina-"

"I hate dogs!"

Well, this was news.

"I love dogs!" she bit out, still rubbing her fingers over her bruising knuckles. "THEY hate ME, is all."

"You don't poke a dog's nose."

"You don't?"

"They hate it. You have to rub behind its ear. Dogs love that."

"You could have told me that sooner," she grumbled, her voice barely audible over the moaning and hissing of the machines nearby.

Lao leaned against a box, and waited.

"I have a new plan," Irina said, "but just for tonight."

"What's that?"

"I'm gonna sit on the bench and feel sorry for myself."

"You do that-"

"You're joining me."

"What-"

She latched onto his arm, grip tighter than an indigen's jaw, and that was why Lao spent all morning sitting on a bench freezing his ass off.

He felt better after it, though, and he had a feeling that Irina did as well.

* * *

The barracks door slammed open. Lao couldn't even muster up the energy to groan; he didn't even know what day it was, or particularly cared, but he'd recognise that voice anywhere.

"Where is he!?" Irina yelled. "We meet up each week – for the last couple of months – and he's not there! It's one in the morning! Lao doesn't do late! He disappears, sure, but he shows up first and _then_ disappears!"

True.

"I, uh, he's _really_ not feeling well," came Shingo's timid voice. "We, uh, we think he might have ate something funny? I don't know. It happens way too often for him to just get sick but-"

"I don't care," Irina growled, "show me where his room is and I'll drag him out of there myself."

"Hey, Lieutenant Akulov," Mondo said, "we respect you, we _really_ do, but Lao needs some alone time."

"He's _been_ alone all day!"

Saiden's voice was barely above a whisper. "H-hey, we had a mission-"

"Show me where his room is!"

"He's _asleep_ -"

"Yeah, and I like men. Show me his room. That's an order."

There weren't any more words, not ones that Lao could make out, but he could hear boots thumping against the ground-

His door slid open. "I know you're awake," Irina jeered.

He kept his eyes shut. The door clicked shut.

"Look," Irina said, and it was incredible how much her voice had softened. "I know you're probably still beating yourself up over the Ganglion Skell getting stolen from the hangar-"

Oh, she had _no_ idea.

Not. A. Clue.

"-But that's not an excuse!" The area next to him dipped and groaned; he could _feel_ the heat emitting from Irina from here. "We need to find a dog, Lao, and I'm not stopping until we do."

Silence.

Was she – was she _seriously_ still on about getting a stupid dog? What was the point? She could get killed tomorrow; there was seriously no point in tracking down a dog, not when-

"Lao." A hand rested on his shoulder. He stiffened on instinct, and the hand went as soon as it had landed. "I knew it," she murmured, "you're awake. Just open your eyes."

He cracked one open.

"There we go." She stood up and crossed her arms. Lao squeezed his eye shut again. She gave the edge of his bed a tap with her toe, as though _that_ was meant to mean anything. "C'mon. We've got four hours till morning hits."

"No point."

"There's-" Irina sighed out of her nose, a huff strong enough to power a house. "-I'll meet you outside your barracks in ten, got it? No excuses."

Before he could reply, she was out of the room.

...Dammit.

There was no point to this, he told himself as he sat up in bed, feeling far older than his thirty-one years. No point, as he changed into a baggy hoodie and jeans. Absolutely nothing worthwhile in this, as he grabbed a handful of strawlennies and tried _so hard_ to ignore the beams radiating from his teammates.

There was no point at all, not even as he opened the door to Irina's small smile.

"That was quick," she murmured, and there was no sarcasm in her voice. "C'mon. There's meant to be a dog hanging around the hangar. Doug was complaining about it, said it kept trying to jump on top of him every time he sat down."

Lao nodded.

"I've studied up," Irina continued as they walked, making enough chat for both of them. He didn't mind that, not at all; it was pleasant, listening to Irina. It helped to drown out the thoughts in his head. "It depends on the dog. The smaller ones tend to be more aggressive, because they feel like they have something to prove. _They're_ the ones you have to watch out for. The bigger they are? The easier they roll over."

Somewhere in the breeze, birds chirped.

Irina turned into Central Melville Street – it took Lao a good ten seconds to realise that this was not the hangar. "Huh?"

"I'm hungry." Irina pushed against the door of a small café. He recognised it as one Mondo always raved about; it was a late-night open café, and served killer sandwiches.

He hadn't eaten all day, he remembered numbly. A handful of strawlennies didn't count as food, he was sure.

Had she-

She stopped in the doorway; Lao bumped into her shoulder and glanced down.

"Oh my God," Irina whispered.

In front of them was a dog.

It was curled up on the sofa nearest to the dog. content little purrs (a purring dog?) coming from within its shaggy depths. When Irina crept towards it, it lifted its head with a massive yawn – right in Irina's face. She recoiled and wrinkled her nose.

"I think I just smelt death," she muttered, and even Lao had to give a quiet laugh at that. From the counter, the lone waiter gave them an easy smile.

"You go and order." Irina didn't take her eyes off the dog, not even to look at him.

"I don't-"

"As long as it's not sweet, I honestly don't care. Something small. Shortbread."

Shortbread _was_ sweet, he wanted to point out, but stopped when Irina shoved her wallet into his hand with practiced ease – no doubt she'd done this with Gwin and her other teammates many times before. Her other hand was reaching out towards the dog.

Lao left her to it.

He went up, ordered, paid with his own cash (he had just enough credits in his jacket pocket) and was poking a piece of muffin about on his plate when Irina flopped down on the seat opposite him. She had company, though, of the furry kind, and the grin on her face as she stroked the dog's ear was bright enough to power New LA at night.

"Isn't she adorable?" Irina whispered, running her fingers through the dog's thick hair. It was the same shade as Irina's hair, funnily enough, and currently had its head plonked on her knees. "The waiter says that she's a giant softy." Her grin turned mischievous. "And she _really_ loves getting her nose poked."

Huh. Go figure.

He didn't know what to say, though, so he looked away and took great interest in his untouched muffin. There was silence, the heavy, stiffening type, the kind where secrets came out and _God_ -

Something warm smacked his leg. He glanced down, ready to shove it away, but it was the dog. It looked up to him with _massive_ eyes and let out a soft croon.

"Hey, girl."

A low whine came from her throat. Lao lifted his right hand, slowly, surprised when it immediately leapt in underneath. It was _headbutting_ his side, demanding attention and – that was adorable, really.

"She likes you," Irina said, "easy to see how."

When he rested his hand on her head, she let out a delighted groan and shuffled closer.

He couldn't help but smile. Who wouldn't?

"Hey, Lao."

He looked up. Irina was frowning deeply, looking straight at him. It was difficult to maintain contact.

"Y'know." She nibbled on a piece of her shortbread with eyebrows raised, and didn't speak until she had swallowed. "If you..." Her hand flapped about. "If you ever need to talk about, I dunno, _stuff_ , I'm happy to listen. I mean, you've listened to me moan." She shut her eyes with a heavy sigh. "You've seen me at my worst, definitely. So..."

He did _not_ like where this was going, not at all, talking as though he had some sort of problem. "Irina-"

"Don't try and distract me," she said firmly.

The dog gave a low whimper as Lao's fingers tightened.

"We've all got issues. Who hasn't?" Irina shook her head. "And if you can't talk to your teammates, or Doug, or Lin, or... whoever, then I'll gladly listen. Any time. You'd do the same for me."

He nodded.

"It doesn't have to be about dogs," she said with a quiet laugh. "It can be about anything. Missions. People." She sighed. "Earth."

Something bitter caught in his throat at that last one.

"I've really enjoyed all of this." Irina waved her hand for the dog to come, and with a yelp, she did, bundling right into Irina's knee. Lao chuckled at that. "So if you need to, um, scream and throw stuff and just be pissed off, we can be pissed off together. I don't – I used to think we were _really_ different, but the more I got to know you, the more I realised we're pretty much the same."

"Uh," was the only word he could choke out. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the sudden sensation of tears. "Thanks, Irina. Thanks."

"No problem." He didn't need to open his eyes to hear the smile in her voice. Something cool clinked his elbow; it was his plate, crumbly muffin sitting on top. "Now eat."

"But-"

" _Lao_."

At her glare, he took a mouthful and – it was pretty good, actually. He reached out for another bite, and at the corner of his eye, caught Irina's softening smile.

It took him a while to remember the unfamiliar feeling in his heart – the strange little twisting, the odd jumping.

Hope. It was hope. That maybe, one day, things would get better.

Not today, or tomorrow, or the day after.

But one day?

Yeah. He could believe in that.


End file.
